the Change

honestly i don't know whether to put this in this blog or my personal one. because it is related to life after marriage, but at the same time, it feels a bit personal.

anyway, i received an sms from one of my younger sister around 4am last night (morning actually). the sms kinda put tears in my eyes. i understand how she feels. i used to feel the same way she felt. when your siblings started to get married one by one, u'll feel kinda empty. the family is no longer together like before, we no longer go everywhere in the same car, no more eat out together as often as we used to and it's no longer easy to gather everyone together to just talk and laugh like we used to. it's true that even before any of us gets married, we all live separately from each other. boarding school, then university life..i acknowledge that i always have to stay far away from my family because of education. but we always gather together during holidays and we always have our family outing together. eventho bapak travels a lot, he will still make time for us..for the family..those times were wonderful and fun! i miss those time sooo much!

now that i'm married, i'm staying with my in-laws while we look for our own place to stay. it's been two months now, but honestly, there were still times when i feel like a stranger in the house. they were so nice and loving, but maybe because all this while i've been staying either on my own with friends or with my own sister or family..it feels weird to stay with another family. i never had any homesick before..maybe there were, twice actually..that was when i'm studying in uitm, renting in sek 7. i felt homesick because i didn't get to go back for 2 months and had to stay there alone while my housemates went back to their families.

but now, i am really feeling it. missing every single one of my family..i miss spending time with them...i miss my family..i'm still getting used to this new life..but honestly, i can't help to feel homesick, missing my mum's cooking and spending time with my bapak, mak, atun, yana, mal, abg zul and izz. i'm planning to have a family trip somewhere..go holiday like we used to.

i really miss everyone..tho i see them every now and then..it's not the same..